Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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