It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
