Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
