i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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