Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
