There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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