I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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