Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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