he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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