HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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