Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just pee around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize