the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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