I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
