brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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