it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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