What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
