she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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