I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
