i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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