I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
