Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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