I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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