I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
