so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
The power of my boobs compel you
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
