Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
