got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
A+ Viking dick
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
