Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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