Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
