jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
