I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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