Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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