we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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