She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
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I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
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Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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