I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
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So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
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Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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