My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
