Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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