Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
