We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
time to smoke my breakfast
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
birth control should be required to get into college
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
