Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
