I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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