It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
