i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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