ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize