I have demons in me.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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