If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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