The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
