wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
