please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he shaved USA in his pubs
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
