THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
