Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
