Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We need to rekindle our bromance
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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