Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
