do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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