Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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