he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
