Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
