My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
