it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize